Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
