This girl is more easily done than said...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
