so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
