you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
