is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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