I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
