She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
