Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
