She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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