Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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