She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
