your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
