i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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