i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
