I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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