drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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