Your tits are I can't wait for
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
