her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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