I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
