I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
