How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
