After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
