I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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