Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
