So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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