Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize