i just had sex bonerless
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
