idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
