I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
