he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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