Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
