a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
