One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
FUCK WHALES
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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