I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
