You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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