I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
