Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
