need another drink. this is the easiest way
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize