Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
