I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize