At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize