Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
