Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
