Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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