I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize