if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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