Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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