ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
