my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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