I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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