ya dads aren't the best wingmen
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
