"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
