She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
