eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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