Buhtt sex?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
