I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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