We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
