He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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